Shed Geek Podcast

Stroke of Faith: How One Woman's Near-Death Experience Led to Her True Calling-Part 1

• Shed Geek Podcast • Season 5 • Episode 36

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Life can change in an instant. Kelly Orrico knows this firsthand. After surviving a catastrophic stroke at age 38 that nearly took her life, Kelly found herself questioning her purpose and why she had been spared when doctors had no explanation for what caused her stroke in the first place.

The story Kelly shares is nothing short of extraordinary. From the stranger who mysteriously appeared with her dog and entered her home to help, to the paramedic who broke protocol by taking her to the one hospital in Atlanta with the technology to save her, to the supernatural experience of feeling her late mother's presence during the ambulance ride – every moment seems divinely orchestrated. 

But the heart of Kelly's journey comes after survival. Battling post-stroke depression and constantly questioning her purpose, Kelly describes years of seeking direction through prayer and Bible study. The answer finally came when she recognized a critical gap in support for widowed parents after the initial wave of sympathy fades. Drawing from personal experience helping others and the biblical call to care for widows and orphans, Kelly founded the Widowed Parent Relief Project (WPRP), a nonprofit providing tangible, ongoing support when everyone else has moved on.

What makes this conversation particularly powerful is Kelly's insight into grief support. She explains why the common "let me know if you need anything" approach fails grieving people who are overwhelmed by decision-making and often don't know what they need. Her organization addresses this by providing specific, concrete assistance rather than vague offers of help.

The final confirmation of Kelly's mission came in discovering that National Widows Day falls on May 3rd – the very day that had haunted her questions about the timing of her stroke. In that moment, her entire journey clicked into place, revealing how her struggles had prepared her to serve others in their darkest moments.

Has Kelly's story stirred something in you? Consider how you might better support those grieving in your community, or reflect on whether you're living with the kind of purpose that acknowledges the preciousness of each day. Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below.

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Shed Geek:

Okay, welcome back to another episode of the Shed Geek podcast and super excited, as usual, about today's guest and I'll give you a little platform. Normally you guys know that I say hey, tell me a little bit about who you are and yourself, and you're probably going to be expecting someone on the other side of that to talk about sheds, whether it's sales and marketing or manufacturing or hauling or products or services. And today we're going a little off script, we're going outside of the shed industry but, as Billy Mays would say, but wait, there's more.

Shed Geek:

The reason that we are doing this is because of our buddy, joe Ignis, and you guys have heard Joe on the podcast or some of his team a few times with the Knowledge Gap and I got invited down to Knoxville to the Knowledge Gap and got to listen to Joe and, with any luck, you guys are going to see Joe at this year's hopefully at this year's Shed Expo in Knoxville because he's a local and we're trying to connect him with some of the folks there. But wonderful sales guy. We met him. He says come on down, you gotta come down to my annual event. I do.

Shed Geek:

I get to sit at my table, and I listened to Kelly, who's getting ready to be introduced here, and her story was just so impactful. And if you guys are driving trucks today, driving sheds around, driving nails into buildings, whatever you're doing, driving yourself crazy, sitting at a shed lot maybe, but I think you'll be blessed by just the conversation, because I was blessed by it and I just thought, man, how can we use our platform to expand her story? Because I just really felt touched by it. I felt like it was awesome. So, we'll get into the details of that. But, Kelly, as I normally say to our guests, welcome and please feel free to introduce yourself and a little bit about what you do.

Kelly Orrico:

All right, thank you. Thanks so much for having me on. This is fun, this is exciting. So, my name is Kelly Orrico and I'm the co-founder and executive director for a nonprofit called Widowed Parent Relief Project we go by WPRP. We sound like a radio station, but we're not, so we go by WPRP Widowed Parent Relief Project.

Shed Geek:

So, this is a 501c3. This is a project that you believe in very much, but there's a whole story behind how you came to this, as there is with anyone, right. You know, I always talk to the shed guys and say, did you wake up one day and decide to start building sheds or selling sheds, or how'd you fall into this world anyway? And some of them are second or third generation, but for the most part there's this really cool story that God has sort of like ordained to come true. Right, you go through, you know this and this and this, and it lands you somewhere. You go through, you know this and this and this and it lands you somewhere. It lands you in your purpose or it lands you in a moment where you realize this isn't my purpose and I need to go find it and this is what I'm doing until I get there.

Shed Geek:

But your story, had it had such an impact, I felt like me and Deanna really talked about it a lot. We were leaving there, we were going to speak in Millersburg, and we just kept talking about it. But I wanted to kind of get your story and what got you to want to start a widowed parent relief project.

Kelly Orrico:

Sure, yeah, that's a great question. Yeah, definitely, many times in life I feel like we have different missions at different periods in our life. When I was younger, I really just wanted to be a teacher and a mom for the most part, and I was that. I really, I was that I have four children. I was a teacher most of my life.

Kelly Orrico:

As a young child, and kind of secretly in the back of my head, I always wanted to create a village for orphans. I would go to sleep kind of dreaming about what if we had a community where we could take all the kids that don't have moms and dads that loved them and all the adults that want to be able to love kids and put them together and make a village, and I would just dream about this all the time. When I was a kid, you know. But people ask you what you want to do when you grow up and you say teacher. Then that's what I was, and it was great.

Kelly Orrico:

A little while later in my life I was a mom. I stayed at home for most of my time as a when the kids were young, and then I tutored and did some things on the side and then eventually went back to teaching and somehow eventually found a little bit of discontentment there and I left. We moved around a lot. My husband's an entrepreneur, so we have moved. I've packed my boxes 19 times in 23 years. Professional packers could have been in.

Shed Geek:

Wow, yeah, that's big.

Kelly Orrico:

That would have been my choice. But yeah, and so my story really begins. At this time, I was selling. My husband owned a bidding software. If you ever go to a charity event and you bid on silent auction items through your phone, if you've ever seen that. He helped launch a company that did that back in the day when it was first getting started, and I ran, I sold that software and went to all these fundraising events and helped them from the fundraising side of their event, and so I have been to so many galas and that kind of thing and helped people fundraise that way at the event. And so, my story, though, really begins.

Kelly Orrico:

When I was 38, my mom my mom passing away. She was just 63 years old, and she died on May 3rd, which is my oldest son's, was my oldest son's 13th birthday. He's his name is Frankie, and the morning that she of the day that she died, on this May 3rd, I said something to my mom. I said, mom, if you can find a way to come back and tell me that you're with me and that you're okay and all this heaven stuff is for real, then do it. And she said okay. And I said, you promise? And she said I promise, and I'll tell you. I mean, I've had faith in God my life. But you can hear throughout my life, when I was raised believing in Jesus and God, but you can hear by that statement alone, like where my faith was right, like I needed proof that this was real. I wanted to know where you were when you passed, and so later that night she made that promise to me. She said she would come back, tell me she was okay, and all that heaven stuff was for real. And when she passed away later that night, Frankie was holding her hand when she passed and my mom was a nurse and she, Frankie was her first grandchild and she brought Frankie into the world and so this was like a big deal, like the circle of life of Frankie holding her hand and her um passing away at that moment. And it was. It was a lot to handle, but um, but it was also beautiful and same the same breath, right, and so, um, a little while later we got a dog, about six months after my mom died, and we swore, my husband and I swore we would never get a dog. We are a dog. About six months after my mom died and we swore, my husband and I swore we would never get a dog. We are not dog people and this was like. So our youngest at this time was basically almost 10. And we knew that, like Christmas, this was coming in on kind of the end of the whole magic of Christmas wise right. And so we wanted to make this spectacular. So we decided we're going to get a dog.

Kelly Orrico:

And on the way home from picking up the dog, it was a. We said it was a mini golden retriever. Well, I picked out a dog that was black, had big brown furry eyebrows and like these giant paws, and it was supposed to be mini. I can tell by the size of the paws. But CJ and I started giggling who's my husband? And he's like what's so funny? And I said you know, my mom always used to say that people's dogs look like their owners. And he goes yeah, and I'm like I picked the dog that looks like you. It's not a golden retriever, you know. And I said you know, we're doing this just because my mom, because friend told me she was. You're trying to fill a hole in your heart. That's what people do. They get dogs. And I said you know, we're getting this because of my mom, and he goes yep, either that or she's just sticking it to me one last time. So, we go home, it's Christmas time and the kids were so excited they named him Slayer because he came on little bit of rock star. You know name there.

Kelly Orrico:

And now fast forward to this is actually May 2. So, the dogs you know about six months old or whatnot, and I had a broken ankle and I'm sitting on my couch, and this day is a pretty phenomenal day actually. My daughter is, so Frankie was about to turn 14. So, my twin girls, and they were 12, and then Danny was 10 and a couple of things happened that morning that I just think about all the time. One is Gracie, one of my, one of my twins did not want to go to school. She was like mom, let me take care of you and I'm like honey, I'm fine, you just want to skip school, like go to school. And I said, oh, but wait really quick before you go. Can you run upstairs and get my charger? It's next to my, you know, so I can have it next to my work spot. So again, it was on crutches, it was staying downstairs, and she goes mom, my phone is plugged in right next to your spot where you're working. I was like, oh good, which means there's a charger there. A little bit while also later in the morning. Now it's time for the young one, Danny, to get on the bus and, I kid you not, I'm giving him a hug, goodbye, and he goes to pull away like normal kid. It's time to get on the bus and I grab him, I hold him a little bit longer and I thought to myself, just in case today's my last day here, you know, and obviously my mom's anniversary is on my head this is tomorrow would be her anniversary but I held on to him for that moment and off he went.

Kelly Orrico:

And a couple hours later I'm typing away, working, you know, from home, and I hear the dog really making some terrible noises coming from the kitchen and I get on my crutches and I hobble in there and he, for an unknown reason still don't know why, but he vomited all along the perimeter of this kitchen area of where he was in his little crated spot. It wasn't created, it's just a section of the kitchen. I'm like, oh my gosh. So, I'm on crutches and I'm trying to clean all this stuff up and he's all starts making this noise again and I thought I got to get him outside. But we have no fence, he's not been trained on the perimeter or anything like that, and I'm thinking, is he going to run away? I don't think he's going to run away. He doesn't feel good.

Kelly Orrico:

So, I take him outside and he's kind of doing his thing and then it looks like he's starting to do better, and I want to get him in because I'm afraid he's going to run away. And I take my crutch, and I stick it in the. I had the leash on him, I wasn't holding bend down. I take the crutch and I stick it in the little, you know, the little part of that leash. And I was feeling quite athletic because I did my first try. I was like nailed it, you know. I leaned down to pick it up and when I kind of stood back up my head just erupted, and I had this terrible, terrible pain in my head.

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Kelly Orrico:

Well, I get migraines. So, I'm thinking, wow, I just got an instant migraine, I need to go in, I need to drink this much water, I need to take four ibuprofen, and I usually take a nap when that happens or at least just close my eyes because I'll get those like ocular can't see, kind of thing. So I've got the leash and I start to try to pull Slayer inside and he starts burrowing his paws into the ground and he's a strong puppy and he's not letting me go and I said come on, slayer, slayer, slayer my speech is slurred and I'm pulling him and pulling him because my head is killing me and I just really wanted to get in there and get that out of program and he wouldn't come in. So eventually I think he's going follow me. He's a puppy, he's not gonna stay out here, he's gonna follow me and I've got to go get the ibuprofen.

Kelly Orrico:

So, I hobble into the kitchen, and I do think that he follows me and when I get into the kitchen I kind of fall like, so I go through the garage you have to go through the garage up two steps I fall into the kitchen table, back into the wall. I'm trying to grab the chair, but I can't see really. I just like it's everything's really just blurry and I fall into the table to the wall a couple of times and eventually I get this chair, and I sit in the chair and I. It's one of those gathering tables. It's high seated, high.

Kelly Orrico:

And I just put my head on the table and like the coolness of it and I'm just resting there waiting for this pain to go away. And I sit up and I go Schleyer, nope, still Schleyer. And so now I'm like I need to get into the family room where my workstation is, or my appropriate is, and I hobble there and I'm thinking to myself I wish Gracie was here today because right now she wanted to take care of me, right Like I had to get over the gate, like in the kitchen, I had to like hobble over this stuff, and I'm like really wish she was here and I sit down and I take a sip of water and I grabbed the ibuprofen and I go to lift my hand and my whole left side is not working. So, you think about how fast this is happening Because I just hobbled over there, my fingers are not moving, nothing is moving on my left-hand side, and so now my head is rip roaring and I'm trying to flip open this ibuprofen and it is not opening. I'm getting very frustrated. So, I take the water, and I just start pouring it over my head and I this is a normal water bottle, and I slammed down the water bottles. Now it's gone.

Kelly Orrico:

I'm frustrated and all of a sudden, I hear hello, hello, I have your dog. I was so confused because one I thought Slayer followed me and you kind of have to get past that kitchen door. So, I still don't really know how I didn't shut that door coming in. Well, what ends up happening is I hear the story later from this man. This man lives a half a mile from my house. I've never seen him before. He's walking his dog and Slayer, who did not run away, is sitting on the edge of the driveway. And when this man comes by with his puppy and starts to pass, slayer gets up and starts circling him and he thinks this is so weird, this puppy with a leash and no owner. And he sees the garage door open, he sees the kitchen door open and then he thinks I'm going to take this dog into that stranger's home. I just think like how many people would really do that.

Shed Geek:

Right yeah.

Kelly Orrico:

And he did. And he comes in and he's kind of talking to me and I'm the whole time wanting to talk to him about how he got my dog and finally, but my head is killing me. And finally he says are you in pain? And the word stroke would not come to my head. The word 911 would not come to my head, which is pretty remarkable because I think it was two, maybe three weeks before this moment.

Kelly Orrico:

I was part of the rotary where I was living. At the time it was a suburb in Atlanta called Roswell, Georgia, and the Rotarians there, they had a nurse come and talk to all of us about the strokes of, or the symptoms of, stroke. And I'm looking around at all the old time, 38, 39 years old. I'm looking at all the old timers, like y'all better pay attention to this. And so here I am. Now this is a couple of years later and uh, or shortly after, you know, weeks after that, I should say Um, and I'm thinking I need to tell him my speech is slurred. If I tell him my speech is slurred, he's going to get it. And so, he says are you in pain? And I said my speech is slurred. He says, well, I can see that. Can I get you something? I mean, I could always be that way, and he just doesn't. I, you know, he doesn't know me. And so, I started crying because I realized he doesn't understand what I'm telling him. And my, I really wanted to be when he said can you, can I get you something? I want to be like yeah, drugs, a lot of drugs. That's really what I wanted to say.

Kelly Orrico:

And I started crying and I said I don't know if I should call a doctor. And he said what about your husband? Do you have a husband? Is he in town? And I thought, oh, call CJ. And I'm leaning forward to get my phone that's on the cocktail table. And I'm thinking to myself he's never going to answer this call. Like, again, I work for him. If I Skype him, text him, he might answer. But like any phone calls he's like I'll talk to you when we get home. You know what I mean. So, I knew he wasn't going to answer it. And as I'm leaning forward, I hear Gracie's voice Mom, my phone is plugged in right next to your spot. And that phone again.

Kelly Orrico:

The kids were younger. We had one phone that we shared that for the kids it was the house phone and it was called kids sell and I was like, oh, if he sees kids sell in the middle of a school day, he's going to answer this. And so, I lean back, and I unplug it with my right hand and I hit favorites dad and I pass the phone, and I go CJ. I'm thinking it's going to be great. CJ is going to fix everything, like he typically does. And so, he sees kids cell and he's like what the heck? And answers the call. He's walking into a board meeting with my brother, who he owned this company with, and he said to me goes oh yeah, if you called me, never, ever would have answered that phone call.

Kelly Orrico:

So he's like, hey, now I get this hello and this man typical southerner, like sweetest man so I was walking down the street I had my dog and I came upon your dog and he's just kind of slowly you know, we're from Chicago we're like fast movers and, um, CJ's initial thought was like the kids must have left the phone in the park.

Kelly Orrico:

And then he started saying about the dog and he's like. And then he says I'm in your house and he's like, there's a man in my house, this is you know. So, what is this? And then eventually it's to the story, or her speech is slurred, she seems like she's in pain and, um, I'll tell you. Okay, CJ and I are high school sweethearts and he's known me my whole life and I will preface this with telling you I have never been drunk at 10 in the morning, okay, ever.

Kelly Orrico:

And CJ asks this man, is she drunk? I was so mad. I'm like why did you ask him that question? Why would you ask him that question? That's just not, that's so dumb. And he's like well, I didn't know, your mom's anniversary is the next day. And I'm like so you think I'm drinking, like what it just was? Like blew my mind. Anyways, thankfully, thankfully, the man says no, I don't think so. And he says well, is she having a stroke? And the man says I think so. And he said, oh, hang up and call 911. They said I'm going to keep you on the line. I'm going to call 911 on my phone, and so CJ's on the phone.

Kelly Orrico:

Eventually this paramedic comes to my house and he's talking to CJ, he's talking to me and I really was tired, I just kind of wanted to go to sleep. But I'm talking. What hospital do you want to go to? I say I don't know. I think about that nurse that just spoke. It's a Northside hospital. And CJ says no, she needs to go to Emory. And I was like I really don't care, Emory's fine. And the paramedic says no, I don't think you should go there, I think you should go to Kennestone Hospital. Now, keep in mind, I've run so many fundraising events for the city of Atlanta, right Like I've done so many hospital events. I had never heard of Kennestone and I was like that's fine, wherever you take me out, that's fine.

Kelly Orrico:

And later on, when afterwards all of this, I spoke to a nurse and she's like that's against the law. Like you said where you wanted to go, he's supposed to take you where you go. And so, this wonderful man broke the law and took me to this hospital. And there are 40 stroke centers in all of Atlanta, but there's only one, Kennestone Hospital, that had the technology that could do what needed to be done that day, and so he broke the law and took me there. Well, here he is. He scoops me out because I have a broken ankle. My neighbor CJ, my neighbor, she was over, and I love when she tells the story because she's like this fireman scoops her up and I'm like, wait, wait, pause.

Kelly Orrico:

And she's telling me this right now. I'm like are we talking like a good looking calendar fireman, or are we talking laughing? And so you know, you got to keep your humor about these things.

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Kelly Orrico:

And so, what a sweet man,

Kelly Orrico:

And he puts me in on a gurney. Once we are outside the ambulance and I'm getting in the ambulance and I can see the sky and I see Jesus's face and my mom's face pop up and I start yelling at them both. I said you would not do this to Frankie two years in a row. Come on, the kids always yell at me and tell me that that's my saying when they're not listening. Like you know, and like you just wouldn't do that to Frankie because my mom was Frankie's like God person. She was always the person that would talk to Frankie about Jesus and he was devastated when she died and like still is.

Kelly Orrico:

This is a thing right. So, anyways, I'm just like thinking you, this is going to be Frankie's birthday tomorrow. You just, you just can't do this. And then I, ever since I was eight years old, but we had some religious class I was told that if you have one minute to live, say you're sorry to Jesus for all of your sins, proclaim him as your savior and you will go straight to heaven. So, I've been practicing my 30 second prayer since I was eight. Like I mean, I've been practicing this. So, after I was done, yelling at the Lord and my mom.

Kelly Orrico:

I thought my prayer.

Kelly Orrico:

So, I say my prayer and then I'm like, okay, well, I'm still alive. So, Lord, bring smart doctors, steady hands, wise choices. I really could use Dr Shepard right about now from Grey's Anatomy. I'm like, but he's dead. So sorry if that's a spoiler alert, shouldn't be. It's been years but in my brain about Dr Shepard, the neurologist on Grey's Anatomy, and then I thought, oh, my cousin Steve, he's a neurologist, but he's up in Michigan and he's like my cousin-in-law and I'm like that's not going to be good. So, Lord, I just need a really wise doctor and smart choices. And they start telling me everything that's going to happen when I get out of the ambulance and I start really missing my mom.

Kelly Orrico:

I've never been in the hospital without my mom. I've had several miscarriages throughout my life. She's been there for every delivery. On top of all that, and I start, but tears start kind of coming down my face and they're getting me out of the ambulance and there's CJ and I wanted him to know. I was crying not because of my stroke, but because I missed mom and I was like I miss mom and he's like I know, I know.

Kelly Orrico:

And they pull me into the emergency room, and it was just like you would see it on TV, honestly, like it's in this back room. There's people surrounding me everywhere and they asked me to do all these things and I'm failing every test. You know, raise both your arms, like one arm goes up, and how many fingers on this side I can make. I can see my right side, but I couldn't see anything on my left. Nothing on my left was working. So, they pull me into the get an MRI and at the same time they pull CJ into this room and this doctor comes in and he says listen, you can think of me as a plumber. We gave her the Drano. It's not working, we need to go in and snake the drain and every second counts. There's a new technology. You got to sign right here. And CJ says to this man he's like are you the best plumber? Who's the best plumber in the hospital? And this man was in a suit and he kind of like squares up a little bit and he says I wasn't supposed to be here today. I got called in for an emergency board meeting that they interrupted to tell me about your wife. I'm the head of neurosurgery, I am the best there is here. And so, I said all right, you know, signs the papers. And they pull me out of the MRI room. And now I see their CJ is there and with the doctor and he goes to introduce me to Dr. Caldi was his, is his name. And I'm thinking I'm being so funny. You know I can't see anything on my left and CJ's like this is Dr. Caldi. And I'm like is there a Dr Shepard in the hospital? He didn't think that was funny at all. And he's like Dr. Caldi's taking care of you. And he said okay, you know, say goodbye to your wife. And CJ was like this. And then taps my forehead and they start to wheel away and the doctor stops the gurney and he looks at CJ and says you need to give your wife a kiss. And CJ looks at him and goes I'm not kissing my wife, goodbye, no, go. Hit a home run and he just turned around and walked away and they started to wheel away and all of a sudden I am like again missing my mom, cause now it's about to happen.

Kelly Orrico:

Right, it's all just about to happen and all of a sudden this like panic. My chest just feels like a 10,000 pounds and I think to myself I've never had a panic attack, but I have a feeling that's what is about to happen here. And my mom, when she was sick, read the devotional Jesus calling. Mom, when she was sick, read the devotional Jesus Calling. And so, I start saying okay, Jesus Calling, Jesus Calling, Jesus Calling.

Kelly Orrico:

And all of a sudden, these Bible verses start flooding my brain. Okay, I mean, you heard where my faith was prior to this. I don't have memorized Bible verses in my life at this time. Those are not my words, that is God's words. And yes, I've read through some Jesus Calling devotionals, but I've never memorized any Bible verses at this point in my life. And so, it's like be still. Have no fear, I am with you.

Kelly Orrico:

And it was like bam, bam, bam, bam. And all of a sudden, this peace just comes over my body. I take his breath, and I said, okay, Jesus is holding my right hand, Jesus is holding my right hand, Jesus is holding my right hand. And that was again what my mom, every time I would go visit her, she would say that to me. Don't you worry, hon. Ever since this started, Jesus has been holding my right hand. And I'm not kidding, I would look, and I would be like I wish I could see it. You know.

Kelly Orrico:

And so here I am. It you know. And so here I am. It's engraved on my mom's tombstone Jesus is holding my right hand. So, I said, okay, just hold my right hand. And all of a sudden, my hand gets super warm, and it feels like someone is squeezing my hand and I.

Kelly Orrico:

It is so real that I am certain. I am certain that I am like thinking to myself I'm going to look at my hand right now and I am going to see Jesus's hand. That's how real it was and that is what I thought. And they looked down at my hand and I see my mom's and it come. I gasped Again because I'm expecting to see.

Kelly Orrico:

It was that real that I expected to see something and I expected it to be Jesus. And it was my mom's. It was her nails, it was her ring, it was her, her knuckles. And I laugh. Now this has been about almost 10 years and I'm looking at my own hands telling the story and it's like my hands are starting to look like hers, you know, and I thought, oh my gosh, and at that time I gasped and this nurse leans down and kind of yells in my ear Are you allergic to anything? A hundred times that day they asked me if I was allergic to anything. A hundred times that day they asked me if I was allergic to anything. They asked CJ if I was allergic to anything. Both of us no, no, no, no. And she asked me this question, and I go yes, I'm allergic to anesthesia.

Kelly Orrico:

And she goes oh, she's allergic to anesthesia and like there's chaos is ensuing now, like we're in the OR, we're, like you know, in the room, and then I just see a lot of movement and noise and I just kind of smiled because I'm like I'm going to be fine. Those words have never left my mouth. I'm allergic to anesthesia. My mom was always the one to tell the doctor she's allergic to anesthesia, right, so I have this big smile, like I feel his peace, like my mom is with me. Clearly, my mom is with me, I'm going to be fine.

Kelly Orrico:

And they put me on the table, they strap me in, they keep me awake and they go in through my groin with this like little teeny, camera of sort that's like a closed umbrella picture, and they go through my heart up into my brain and I'm just laying, there, you know, and I don't really feel anything. And then all of a sudden there is this scraping by my eye and it's painful, and I come kind of shooting off the table and the straps catch my head I had totally forgotten that I was even strapped in and I, like my head goes back down the table and I go my eye and the doctor says I know, we're right by your eye, just hold still. And I'm thinking hold still, you have a stick in my brain.

Kelly Orrico:

Like I should not even be able to move. Why am I able to move?

Kelly Orrico:

And so then, I'm like okay, don't and I'm thinking to myself don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe, breathe. I mean, I was so afraid to move at that point because I was like I'm gonna like brain damage myself, you know, and so I'm just being as still as I can and then all of a sudden I feel more scraping by my eye and I very calmly said my eye and my speech came out perfect. And he said I know, we're coming out, we're coming out, just hang in there. And eventually pulls the thing all the way out of my groin, sits the bed up and says OK, Kelly, raise both your arms, touch your nose right hand, touch your nose left hand. How many fingers this side? How many fingers this side? Nail all the tests. And I like to joke around that I'm.

Kelly Orrico:

I'm a kind of a perfectionist. I said annoying student that, like always, wanted to get an A, so like I like to pass my tests, you know he's like OK, let's see you smile. And I was nervous about this test because again, a hundred times a day they would ask me to smile and every time I would, everyone's response was exactly the same. It was, they had this face. And I would think to myself I didn't do good on that one, you know, because my smile was my smile. And I would think to myself I didn't do good on that one, you know, because my smile was my smile. And so, he said, let's see you smile. And I grin because I am afraid. And he goes let's see your teeth. So, I just let out like all right, let it go, let it rock and roll. You know, let out a beaming smile and the whole OR erupted in claps and cheers and I mean everyone went absolutely crazy.

Kelly Orrico:

And the nurse leans down and she goes honey, today was your day. She's like someone was looking out for you and I just started weeping. I'm like it's my mom, it's my mom. Like I mean, this was, this was May 2nd. They let me light the Christmas tree that year. They named me patient of the year. They all thought I was going to die and two days later I walk out of this hospital like you wouldn't know that I had a stroke. There were little things that I know, and I still know to this day, like there's some little things that are off and it's great. I can always blame it on my stroke.

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Kelly Orrico:

The day that I was going to leave, the doctor comes in and he said well, there's two parts to this story. One is the day before I left was May 3rd, right, so May 2nd was my stroke, they saved me. May 3rd I'm still in the hospital and my family comes and Frankie's there and CJ brings a cake and we're blowing out birthday candles on his birthday and I always cry and I think about the story, because this part of the story, because that was my thing, right, like, let me be here for my kids. And um, and then, and then, when something like that happens, you're like why, why am I alive? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Like, how did you, how did all this happen? Right? You're just a little like to be doing with my life. Like, how did you, how did all this happen? Right? You're just a little like you're silenced. You're really really just silenced. And, um, the next day when we, when we leave, the neurosurgeon comes in and he goes. Well, I talked to your cousin Steve today and I'm like Clavido, he's like, yeah, I'm like from Michigan. He's like, yeah, I'm like how, why? Again, he's my cousin-in-law, I just knew he was a neurosurgeon and he goes. I studied under him at Loyola University in Chicago. I was his intern. I was like what? Because I'm in Atlanta, Steve's in Michigan, this is all they've eaten years ago. And I'm like gosh, if they were just sitting there and he's eating them and thinking, just think, one day you're going to save my cousin's life, right. Like fascinating and I'm just laughing. I'm like, of course, this is how the story ends.

Kelly Orrico:

Like I have picked the story apart backwards and forwards in so many ways and if you take out, do today or alive, either one Right and so for a long time after that, as I'm psychoanalyzing all of this, and how did all this happen? Why am I alive? Picking this piece apart, it drove me absolutely crazy that it was on May 2nd and not May 3rd. This is my mom and um, but I know that she kept her promise to me and what's so cool is I wrote that story down to my cousins after my mom died, how she made that promise to me. So, I have this documented free stroke right, and then I have the stroke and her holding my hand this like amazing supernatural experience that happened in me living and me being able to say she kept her promise. You know it's like look, this is like proof. And so fast forward as time's going by, me going.

Kelly Orrico:

So why am I alive? What am I going to do with my life? What, more importantly, like, what am I going to do with the minutes that I have left here? Because they have no idea why I had my stroke? They still, to this day, don't know why I had my stroke. People always love to ask that question and I love that question because you do want to know, like, is that going to happen to me? And I didn't have one risk factor, like not one on the list. And they ran me through all these tests and I'm like it's got to be from my broken ankle. And the neuro is like no, it's not because the clot was so big. It was not a clot that would have come from those small artery veins or however. It's all formed down in that in your ankle just wouldn't have been that little. Those are little Anywho. Um, I'm way beyond my expertise. But he kept saying no. So, we kept searching for why, because you're afraid you're gonna have another one.

Kelly Orrico:

You know Right and so we never found out why and eventually I just gave up. I'm like I do not want to go see another doctor ever again. The Lord had me here and that's that. So, then you're like, well, what am I going to do with the minutes that I've left? And eventually God moved us to Knoxville for my husband's job. We sold that company and he moved us here to Knoxville, Tennessee, and, um, I was like, should I start teaching again? What should I do? What should I?

Kelly Orrico:

I wanted to do something meaningful, and CJ is like rest, recover. I mean there were a lot of things that weren't right. You know, my physical things were okay, but like up here, not so good. And he's like just rest, recover. And I'm a doer, I've always been a doer, and I just, again, I have this ticking time bomb in the back of my brain. So, I kind of fell into this depression, feeling loss of purpose, loss of meaning, I don't have a self-worth. My kids are getting older, now that that time Danny was going, it was a seventh grader and the old kids were in high school, and like our life, life, life phases are like a tornado. I got four kids in four years and like I've already got one that's a junior in high school and like they're going to be gone before you know it and they don't need me anymore, like all these things you think, right as a mom, which are just really, really dumb thoughts and not from the Lord, that's for sure. I've learned. So eventually, thank God.

Kelly Orrico:

I had a friend who was like why don't you come to this Bible study with me? I haven't done Bible study like a really many, many, many years. So I said, ok, I'll go. And the Bible studies were saying everything. My first one was saying what CJ was saying be still, wait on the Lord. And the second one was God is working, you just can't see it. And I started to tell my group like I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something and I don't know what it is. Everyone's like you should write a book. I'm like it's a story. I have a story I don't know about a whole book worth of stuff you know.

Kelly Orrico:

And so, the third one was listen to the Holy Spirit and obey, and I can tell you I have Bible or prayer journals writing to the Lord just begging God to tell me what am I supposed to do, and if you tell me, I promise I will obey, but just don't make it too hard. That's always the stipulations that we give you know. It's like don't, don't, don't, don't, you know, deliver me from it. Instead, it's like well, why not give you the power to go through it? You know, and it's like, but we're always like don't make it too difficult, don't make it that hard. What does the Bible say? The testing of our faith is, you know, perseveres by the. The testing of our faith is what builds perseverance and builds conviction. You know, like we need those trials and tribulations. So go ahead, I'm, I'm enjoying the story.

Kelly Orrico:

It's, it's so true. And, like you think, like during those years of my Bible study and this depression that was just this looming, looming depression all the time. And I'll tell you one thing sidebar is like at nighttime, when I would go to sleep when everything was quiet and you're tired. You know, your brain is tired, your body is tired. You're cooking, you're doing all these things as a mom and now, like the busyness goes away and like all of these like evil thoughts are piling in my brain that are straight, definitely not from the Lord. And it didn't matter, Like I just couldn't get them out.

Kelly Orrico:

And so, I put on we have the Bible app on my phone and there's, it'll read it to you out loud and you can set a timer. And I finally said to my husband I said, do you, do you mind if I put this on kind of loud, for like it'll go off in five minutes and it's just going to read the Psalms to me and us, because he has to listen to it too. And he said, sure, and thank God he did, because that loudness of God's truths was louder than the voices that was going on in the back of my head and I, telling you I still use it to this day and it helped me overcome the darkness.

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Kelly Orrico:

The next Bible study was the book of James and chapter one, verse 22, says be doers of the word, not hearers, only lest you deceive yourself. And once again I started yelling at God. I'm like I've been asking you for years what you want me to do, and you won't tell me. Don't tell me. I'm deceiving myself. Like, just tell me what you want me to do. And he had a really good laugh at that because just a few verses later, like duh, the answer is right there, but of course I don't see it Right.

Kelly Orrico:

And a few weeks later I sat out very sadly, are my daughter's softball coach from Atlanta, passed away from COVID, and CJ, for two nights in a row, is pacing the floor and I'm like what's wrong? And he said I can't stop thinking about the mom. And I said I can't stop thinking about the kid again, like I'm a teacher, my heart is for children. Well, CJ, his heart is for widows, because he lived through almost losing me number one with kids and we rely he and we relied on our community to help with a lot of things. You know, during that, during that time, driving the kids, meals, um, all of that kind of like stuff all of them are in sports. So, um, and at the time I'll tell you when we do this, this is, we do this as people who don't know how to help grieving people. So, at that time we were helping a widowed at the.

Kelly Orrico:

I would call her an acquaintance of ours from Chicago. We went to high school together. She was a freshman, CJ and I were seniors, and we knew each other a little bit, you know, but we both played softball. When I was a senior, she was a freshman. We were in student council. Same thing and her story she lost her husband. She had twins they're high school sweethearts. Her husband died of the same blood disease my mom died of, and she got cancer six months before her husband died. And at that time my best friend from first grade was diagnosed with breast cancer. So, like everything was so close to my heart and we're following her story on CaringBridge.

Kelly Orrico:

And when her husband passed away, CJ's like we got Kelly, you should call her. Her name is Kate, you should call Kate. And I'm like, no, no, and he's like what you should call Kate. And I'm like, uh, no, no, and he's like what you, you should call her, you get it. And I'm like, no, I don't, I will do nothing but cry I will. I'm not, I will not be any good for her and I would not know what to say.

Kelly Orrico:

This is like all way too close to home and besides, post-stroke, I was emotional wreck like I, like I still to this day. I'm pretty good right now. We'll cry at the drop of a hat, right. So, I'm like, no, I'm not going to be good for her. Well, he couldn't take it. He's like we need to do something and we the way God works had previously helped another widowed mom on our baseball team in Atlanta who lost her husband. What do we do? What do we do? We do meal trains. We bring people meals for like one month, right, the community comes together oftentimes to do that and maybe you might do a fundraiser and that's what we did for this family. And then after that it's like you don't know what to say and you don't know what to do and people don't.

Kelly Orrico:

And I said this to Kate eventually, so I'll tell you that later. But so, CJ decides with Kate, we need to do something more than what we did for this mom in Atlanta, because this is not going to be enough. Like she's got these little kids, she's got cancer. He decides we're going to do cleaning services for her, and we'll just pay for that. And I was like, great, I don't have to talk to her and we're helping her in some way, shape or form. That's what was going on in my head Meanwhile, at the same time asking God what's my purpose in life? What am I supposed to be doing, right? So here we are now, our softball coach passing away, and I said well, do you want to pay for cleaning services for her too? Like we got Kate in Chicago, we'll have her in Atlanta. He's like I don't know, let me sleep on it and think so.

Kelly Orrico:

The next day I'm driving and I'm listening to this audible book, and in the audible book it quotes the book of James Ironically right, of course, ironically and it says chapter one, verse 27. And like my ears perk up because I mean I remember 22, like we, the Lord and I, were wrestling, you know. So, I'm like. What does 27 say? And it says the truest form of religion is to care for orphans and widows in their distress and remain unstained by the world. And chills just ran up and down my body and I thought is this? It? Is this the worst of what I'm supposed to be doing? Because CJ's heart's for widows, my heart's for orphans, and I knew that I was supposed to be doing, because CJ's heart's for widows, my heart's for orphans, and I knew that I was supposed to start something. I felt the calling that I was supposed to start something and I knew that it had to align with CJ's heart because he would be the one paying for it, the one doing it right.

Kelly Orrico:

It's like we got to both of us got to be on board, plus, like our family was, structure would change, with me going back to work and whatnot. So, um, so, anyways, I that so, so anyways, I went home and I started researching is there anything out there for widowed parents? And I found that there really is nothing out there on a tangible level, like what we were thinking about, what we, the cleaning services, and like this, like actual instrumental help. Nothing out there. In fact, I find this paper that interviewed 45 widowed parents and one of the things that said on there is that many widowed parents feel isolated, abandoned, that they lose their friend support because people don't engage and people stop talking, and for many different reasons. You know.

Kelly Orrico:

One you're young. This year, your support group is young. They don't know how to handle death, okay. Two you're young, mortality becomes very real, which could become very scary. It's no different than people saying why, why did that stroke happen to you? People want to know that, that I could lose my husband too at this early, and I have these kids and that's very scary for me.

Kelly Orrico:

And so they stop.

Kelly Orrico:

And you know there's that. There's that element People are afraid they're going to say the wrong thing, they don't see anything. Yep, the big one is, people want to help but they just don't know how and what we all do. Now that I'm older and we understand grief and more experience with grief, we all typically do the same thing. Anything I can do, just let me know, just call me anytime, right? We all say that we all do that and we'll do the things.

Kelly Orrico:

In the beginning We'll do the meals and that kind of stuff, and then after about a month, two, three, if you're lucky, the doorbell stops ringing, the phone stops ringing, it's crickets in your house and you're left with this deafening silence of and now people who had been saying tell me how I can help. They feel like I've said it, I don't want to bug her, like I don't want to bring it up. And when we're saying that to a widow who is grieving, they have no idea what they need. They need everything. The answer is everything, and I don't know is what. The answer is right and so the best thing we can do is whatever is in your skill set, just do it. You know, drop off. If you have some funds, drop off some gifts on the doorstep, drop off chocolate, drop off paper towels and toilet paper and like those kinds of necessities to say, hey, I'm available Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I'm going to pick up your kids one of those days and take them to the park. Which day works for you, you know. If you don't tell me, then I'm just going to come over and show up and you can clean or go to bed or do whatever you want, and I'll just watch them at the house.

Kelly Orrico:

But like I want to be there for you, they can't. They have a trouble making choices, they are on choice overload. Their brain is in brain fog. Making decisions is very, very difficult. So, like giving an option of you can, I can do A or B. You pick way easier than what do you want me to do? Like that's just too overwhelming, you know, for someone who's grieving, and this isn't just a widow, this is anyone grieving.

Kelly Orrico:

So, anyways, I'm reading this paper and I'm like this is what I did to Kate and I feel terrible and I typically cry when I tell this part of the story, because I think of myself as a loving human, you know, and that was a really terrible thing to do, and so I text Kate and I said, hey, one, I need to apologize to you, and I will do that over the phone when I talk to you, and I hope you'll forgive me for not ever talking to you about this. But two, I think that God's calling me to help widowed parents, and I was wondering if you would be willing to talk to me about that which. Can we set up a call, a video call, and we are like best of friends today.

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Kelly Orrico:

So, God restores and redeems, and he did that, which was beautiful, um, really, really beautiful. And Kate was instrumental in helping CJ and me build the programs that we do for widowed parent, because so this is like the, the I get some people that I can help be on my board found this with me. I had a friend that was a counselor, so she helped me. I had a friend whose sister was, um, a widowed parent herself in a different state, so she had the insight of that, that, and then we had Kate as actual widow, and so when it was finally time to fill out the 501C3, we had, I mean, I was really scared to do this.

Kelly Orrico:

You know I mean, I don't know. I do my master's in administration for education. I feel like that's like something you know, like I've never run a nonprofit. I do my master's in administration for education. I feel like that's like something you know. It's like I never run a nonprofit and so, but interesting that the Lord had me go to all these fundraising events, right, so I knew part of the fundraising element from an event side at least.

Kelly Orrico:

So, anyways, I'm filling out 501c3 and all of a sudden, well, you have to fill out what code you are for the IRS, I. And all of a sudden, well, you have to fill out what code you are for the IRS. I'm like I can't figure out what code we are. So, I'm on the computer searching. Maybe there's another company that can find it. I'm like I just don't know.

Kelly Orrico:

And all of a sudden enter Satan and these thoughts in my head of are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you're able to do this? You talk backwards, you say wrong words all the time, you cry at the drop of a hat. You're not even a widow. You don't have the right to do this. People are going to be mad. You're going to say the wrong thing and I mean this pressure again, like on my chest, like I could not breathe is where I was at, and at that exact moment there's this little yellow Jeff in the bottom right-hand corner that says National Widows Day and I was like oh you can have a fundraising event on that day.

Kelly Orrico:

When is National Widows Day? It's like May 3rd. May 3rd, the day for the last four or five years, however long that was of me asking God why did I not have my stroke on May 3rd? Because it all made so much sense? My stroke on May 3rd because it all made so much sense. Here we are that's National Widows Day. I mean, I lost my mind. I literally lost my mind.

Kelly Orrico:

I pushed away from the table, I'm like no one's in my house and I'm like, out loud, I was like Lord, lord, I promise I will never let fear stop me again, like at the exact moment I was so afraid. God gave me this to say stop it, this is not my mission, this is God's mission. He put this. I told him I would obey if he'd just tell me what it is. And this is it. Like you, I have to obey, I have to do this. So, I'm like I'm not gonna let fear stop me.

Kelly Orrico:

And that was that Just went forward. I mean, I still get afraid a lot and I always rely back on God. But to your point, in hindsight of course hindsight is always 20-20, right it's like I look back, and I had been opening that Bible for three, four years for God to tell me what to do and what I found in those years was faith in him and knowing him. And if I did not have that, I would not be able to do what I'm doing right now, what I've been doing for the last four years now Widow Parent Relief Project I would have lost steam, I wouldn't have been able to have that moment of I won't let fear stop me. I wouldn't have had that.

Kelly Orrico:

Yeah, you know like I needed to go through those trials, I needed to go through that depression, I needed to seek God in order to do this.

Kelly Orrico:

And still, to this day, like people are like, oh, it's amazing, and I'm like I did not do any of this. Like it is astounding, I can show you Bible or my prayer journals of like Lord, we really need I mean, fill in the blank. And it's like one time I was like we really need some funds, like I feel like I'm worried about funds and I closed my prayer journal and my computer goes and it's an email from one of our volunteers hey, I just wanted to let you know I submitted all my volunteer hours to Motorola and they're going to donate all this money to you because I volunteered. I was like I just answered a prayer, like like that, I mean, and I can tell you story after story after story of that. And then it's like God is just the one doing all of this. You know, it's like I'm. I just feel like I have a front row seat to watching him work.

Shed Geek:

Now, Thank you for listening to part one of a two-part series. Be sure to tune in next week for more engaging conversation here at the Shed Geek Podcast.